


Viktor Nikiforov is Dead

by Mazy_Mythos



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alcohol, Drinking, Fluff, IT'S SO FLUFFY, Kissing, Light Angst, M/M, Probably ooc, Sad, post episode 11, the majority of this was written at 1 am
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-19
Updated: 2016-12-19
Packaged: 2018-09-09 20:46:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8911363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mazy_Mythos/pseuds/Mazy_Mythos
Summary: Viktor realizes that he's faced with two decisions-- to go back to competitive skating, or to stay with Yuuri. He thought he had already made that decision.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first time writing for an anime. I know my characterizations are off. I'm working on perfecting them and I just wanted to post this before it was all over.

_“After the final, let’s end this.”_

Viktor had been able to think about anything else for hours. Yuuri hadn’t exactly explained what he meant by that, but it was to the point where Viktor didn’t care. He had analyzed Yuuri’s statement so many times, over and over, he had come up with every possible outcome, every possible explanation, each one of them aching more than the other.

Had this all been a mistake?

Yuuri hadn’t remembered the banquet, he didn’t remember their dances, their laughter, their joy. In Yuuri’s mind, Viktor had just shown up out of the blue after watching that video. He had intruded, demanded to coach Yuuri, and led him all the way to the Grand Prix Finals. Viktor couldn’t decide if that was okay with him.

He thought that Yuuri remembered. Even through the drunken haze, who would forget dancing like _that_ with Viktor Nikiforov? Russia’s five-time consecutive gold medal figure skating champion?

Viktor sat at the bar and swirled whatever was left of his drink. He had hoped that it would numb his mind, take away the sound of Yuuri’s voice in his ears, maybe ease some of the initial shock and pain. Yuuri had called Viktor his good luck charm, he had given Viktor a ring matching his own to tie them together through friendship, engagement, love, it didn’t matter.

They were together. They had been together. This ring was the proof of that.

Viktor pulled the ring off of his finger and looked at it, feeling it in his cold hands, placing it on the bar, and spinning it lazily until it stopped. It sat there sparkling on the wooden grain of the tabletop, staring at him, telling him that it was all over, that he should return the ring to Yuuri.

He sipped the last of what was left of his drink and thought about ordering another. He wasn’t exactly sure what he was drinking, but it made his eyes water. He wanted to drink until he was on the floor, until he drunkenly babbled to the bartender to call Yuuri so that Yuuri would have to come and get him. So that Yuuri would have to care again.

The free skate was tomorrow.

Viktor sighed and stared down at the ring, at the grain in the table. He let his eyes unfocus until they were one of the same, then blinked and the two separated. He was still a coach, he still owed this to Yuuri.

He took the ring off the bar, but didn’t put it back on his finger. He slipped it into his pocket and buttoned up his coat. He slid down from his chair and stuffed his hands into his pockets, ignoring the feeling of the ring against his knuckles.

He wandered back to the hotel in silence, his mind wandering on last year.

Sochi. His fifth medal. His speculated last season of competitive skating.

Stay Close to Me. That glittering fuchsia costume, the last piece he really felt, the last piece that really meant anything to him. It had been so cathartic, an instant release of everything Viktor was afraid to lose, everything he knew he was losing.

His piece about loss had given him the greatest gain of his life. The banquet, Yuuri’s video… He wanted to pull his hair out, but kept his hands in his pockets.

_"After the final, let’s end this.”_

He stood outside of the hotel, wondering if he should even truly return. How was he going to face Yuuri? How was he going to face anyone after what Yuuri had said to him? He hadn’t even been able to look the bartender in the eye without a few drinks.

He wandered in to the empty main lobby and thought about sitting at one of the couches, flipping through the channels. He knew it would be pointless. He didn’t know much Spanish and the Spanish he did know wouldn’t help him understand the most basic children’s programs.

He checked the time on his phone, not even midnight. There was no doubt in his mind that Yuuri would still be awake, sitting on his bed, hunched over his computer.

He pressed the button for the elevator and prayed that by some coincidence Yuuri would be too wrapped up in technology to notice as Viktor snuck into the room and went to bed. He didn’t want to face Yuuri, to look at Yuuri’s innocent face and feel every ounce of confusion and upset drain from his body. He didn’t want to feel like everything was okay, like everything wasn’t falling apart. He hated what Yuuri could do to him, he hated how much control Yuuri had over him and how he could just throw it away like it was nothing.

He wandered down the hall and stuffed his hand into his pant pocket, taking out the room key and sliding it into the door, then opening it. He stood in the darkness of the doorway and breathed, hoping that Yuuri hadn’t heard him come in. He slipped off his shoes and kept his eyes low as he made his way to the beds.

He forgot how they had pushed the two beds together to create one. He sat on the edge of his bed, facing the door that he had just walked through as he shrugged out of his coat and put it beside him. He took his phone out of the coat pocket and plugged it into the charger, then set it on the nightstand.

“Viktor,”

He felt his lungs stop, his brain freeze.

“Da?” He asked softly, not bothering to turn around.

“Are you okay?” He asked. Viktor could hear him change positions, taking his earbuds out and placing them on the laptop. “You looked a little—,”

“I’m fine, Yuuri.” He didn’t even bother to take off his dress pants or his sweater. He curled up under the blankets, laying on his side as far away from Yuuri as he could. He closed his eyes and listened to Yuuri move across the bed.

“Viktor,” Yuuri whispered, he placed his hand on Viktor’s side but pulled back when he felt Viktor jump.

“Please, Yuuri,” Viktor mumbled into the blankets, “I’m not feeling well.” He hid his face in the comforter and wished that Makkachin was with them instead of in Japan. He would give anything just to feel the weight of a dog laying across him, protecting him as he slept.

Yuuri gently stroked his hand up and down over the comforter where Viktor’s back was. “You don’t have to come to practice tomorrow if you don’t feel up to it.” His voice even softer.

Viktor didn’t say anything, he just laid there, hoping that Yuuri would stop petting him and leave him alone. He didn’t want Yuuri to make him forget what he had said earlier. Yuuri was leaving him. He had to keep that in mind.

When Yuuri thought that Viktor had fallen asleep, he wiggled back to his laptop on the other bed. Viktor opened his eyes for only a moment, staring at the wall. Eventually he fell asleep to the sound of clicking keys and Yuuri’s huffy giggles.

 

 

 

 

 

“Vitya,”

Viktor shook his head, burying himself deeper into the warmth of the blankets.

“Viktor, it’s almost seven. Are you coming with me to practice?” Yuuri asked.

Viktor gave a small nod, still refusing to open his eyes or even push the blankets back.

“Are you sure? You don’t have to.” Yuuri’s hand moved down from Viktor’s shoulder to his back.

“It’s one of my last times as your coach. It’s the least I can do.” Viktor muttered, his voice darker than he meant it to be. He opened his eyes and stared at the crisp white blankets. “Go ahead downstairs, get some breakfast. I’ll be down there in a bit.”

Yuuri stiffened and didn’t move from where he sat on the edge of the bed. “Viktor.”

“What?”

Yuuri was quiet for a moment, probably looking for the courage to speak. It amazed Viktor how quickly Yuuri could take charge of a situation, then shrink back into the shadows as though his movements had been so significant they even scared him away. “Are you okay?”

Viktor sat up, pushing the blankets back. He looked at Yuuri, looking into his deep brown eyes looking for any sort of sign, anything that would tell him Yuuri didn’t mean what he said last night. He looked down at the white sheets contrasting his dark sweater. “Yuuri… what you said last night.”

Yuuri was quiet, continuing for Viktor to continue, but Viktor wasn’t sure if he could. He could feel his chest becoming tighter, his mind beginning to run, his eyes beginning to water.

“What you said about… ending this… after the finals.” Viktor’s voice was so soft he wasn’t even sure if Yuuri had heard him until he felt Yuuri’s hand on his own.

Yuuri sighed. “I want to be your equal.”

“You are.” Viktor told him, not bothering to meet his eyes.

“No, Viktor.” Yuuri let their hands fall back onto the blankets. “You’re my superior. In every way. I want to skate with you again. I want to see you perform, I want you to skate again. I can’t ask you to leave skating. I can’t ask you to retire just so you can be my coach.”

Viktor had to keep himself from hitting Yuuri. He gripped the blankets tightly and looked up at the Japanese skater that he had spent the last so many months with. “Did you ever think to ask me what I wanted to do?” Viktor asked, using all of his self-control not to raise his voice, but his emotions got the better of him. His eyes began to water and he could feel the tears beginning to start. “Did you ever think to ask me what my plans are? What I’m thinking about doing? Did you ask me, Yuuri?”

Yuuri pulled back, unsure of what to do. He had never seen Viktor so upset. Viktor never got angry.

“Did you even think about me?” Viktor asked, slid out of the blankets and wandering past Yuuri. He went to his suitcase and started to dig through it for clean clothes. He pulled off his sweater and pulled on another one, this one a dark navy.

“Viktor,”

Viktor turned quickly, the tears were still in his eyes, but he had wiped them off of his face. “Did you consider me at all? Or did you only think about what you want?” He asked, his voice slightly calmer, and if anything, that only scared Yuuri more.

“I’m sorry.” Yuuri said softly. “It’s just… you looked so… lonely. When we were watching the short programs together. You miss the ice. I can see it.”

Viktor’s shoulders relaxed visibly and Yuuri felt like he could breathe again. “I don’t miss it.” Viktor said simply, turning around and grabbing his coat from the foot of the bed.

“Viktor, skating is part of you. I’m asking too much. I can’t take away part of you. I can’t be the one that killed Viktor Nikiforov.” Yuuri grabbed Viktor’s hand in his, pulling him in close. “Just… do this, for me?”

Viktor stared at Yuuri, his eyes slightly wide with shock. He wasn’t used to be the one that received touch, but the one that gave it. His heart had picked up and for a moment he couldn’t think of anything other than kissing him.

_"Viktor Nikiforov is dead."_

Viktor straightened, but didn’t take his hand back from Yuuri. He looked at their hands, how they fit so perfectly together like puzzle pieces. “Who do I belong to?” Viktor asked, his eyes not leaving their hands, specifically Yuuri’s ring. His was still in his pocket and he didn’t dare take it out or motion to in any sort of way.

“What?” Yuuri asked, pulling away from him slightly, but he held onto Yuuri’s hand even tighter.

“Who do I belong to?” He repeated, his voice slightly stronger now.

“No one.” Yuuri said after a few moments of silence. “You’re you. Yourself.”

Viktor’s eyes finally moved from their hands and looked straight into Yuuri’s brown eyes. “Then don’t make decisions for me.” He said plainly. “Don’t decide what’s best for me.” He let their hands drop and started towards the door, sliding on his shoes.

“Viktor.”

He froze, his hand on the doorknob.

“What are we?” He asked, his voice pointing to the confusion that was no doubt expressed on his face.

Viktor took his hand off of the door. “I don’t know, Yuuri. What are we?”

Yuuri inhaled, then exhaled in a sigh. He got up off of the bed and wandered over to the small alcove where Viktor was standing. He took Viktor’s hands from the insides of his coat pockets and pulled him over to the bed. He sat Viktor down on the edge and stood over him. “Just… listen to me.”

Viktor didn’t want to listen, but he sat there and watched as his… friend? Figured out what to say to him. Yuuri paced back and for, sometimes running his hands through his hair, brushing it back out of his face the way Viktor liked to do before his programs.

“When I started skating, I didn’t want to be competitive. I just did it because I liked it.” Yuuri started, still pacing back and forth, mostly out of nervousness. Viktor wanted to make him stop, but kept his hands to himself, resting them on his thighs as Yuuri continued to speak his thoughts.

“I didn’t want to skate competitively until Yuuko showed me you. She showed me your Junior Championship and… I fell in love with you.” Yuuri’s face turned scarlet and Viktor couldn’t help but blush slightly himself.

That was why Yuuri had chosen that costume for Eros.

“I wanted to skate competitively because of you. I wanted to stand next to you on the podium. I wanted to compete against you. I wanted us to be rivals.” He said with a slight laugh, still pacing and refusing to meet Viktor’s gaze. “That’s why. That’s why I don’t want you to retire. Because I want us to be equals.”

“We are equals, Yuuri.”

“No. We’re not. You’re so much better than me. I had to have you come to Japan and teach me how to be like you.” Yuuri nearly yelled, he had stopped pacing. He shook slightly and Viktor wasn’t sure if it was because he was nervous, afraid, or angry. “I want one season.”

Viktor closed his eyes. “Yuuri.”

“Viktor.”

“Stop being so stupid.” Viktor opened his eyes and stared at Yuuri. “You’re already proving yourself. You’re better than me. If I were competing right now, this season, I wouldn’t have made it past Rostelecom.”

Yuuri crossed his arms and was about to yell a rebuttal, but Viktor held up a hand to silence him.

“I don’t have anything more to give.” He let his hand lower back to the bed.

Yuuri huffed. “I’ve seen you in practice. You have two short programs and one free program. All of them are flawless. The free program, is just…” Yuuri sat down next to him. “Viktor, if you could enter the finals on a whim you’d win instantly.”

Viktor shook his head, “Yuuri, stop. This isn’t about the programs. I made those because you kept me waiting and I was bored.” He smirked a little at the memories of Yuuri sleeping in and leaving Viktor at the Ice Castle with nearly two hours to himself.

“Viktor, please.”

“I don’t want to, Yuuri. I couldn’t if I wanted to.” Viktor stood, sliding his hands back into his pockets. “You should’ve waited to try and break us up after the finals.” He muttered, fingering the ring that was still sitting heavy in the bottom of his pocket.

“I just want you to be happy. I want you to go back to what you love.” Yuuri said plainly.

“I am happy. I am doing what I love. I don’t need to go back to where I am right now. I love you. I love this. I love watching you grow and become something new. I love you.” Viktor turned around, his eyes meeting Yuuri. He closed the distance in between them and put his hands on Yuuri’s shoulders. “I love you.” His fingers gripped into Yuuri as though he was an eagle and Yuuri was his prey.

Yuuri didn’t know what to say. His eyes were on the verge of watering, he couldn’t think of anything to say. He started to shake slightly and Viktor let his heart take control.

He pressed his lips against Yuuri’s and pushed him back onto the bed. He broke from Yuuri for only a moment. “I love you.” He whispered, before pressing his lips to Yuuri’s again. “Consider this my coaching fee.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this! Please let me know what I can do to improve and if you'd like me to write anymore Yuri On Ice. Attention makes me happy and pushes me to write more. Also, I have a tumblr so you can bother me there if you want (stariose.tumblr.com)


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